What I’d give for a time machine.

by Jan on April 27, 2011

“A man is the product of his thoughts, what he thinks, he becomes.”

- Mahatma Gandhi

Have you ever made a terrible mistake and hurt someone by your words?  I did that this morning.

For the last month or so I have been very upset by the negative judgments and actions by some people toward me.  There has been dead silence as well.  Have you ever experienced the kind of silence that also has a message? Ugh!  And I took it personally.

For weeks I have been building up a resentment and anger about this.  I became increasingly absorbed by the thoughts of how “wrong” they were.  And incorrectly, of how “right” I was.

In fact I was stewing in self-righteousness– a seething pity party that was about to boil over.

Today it did.

To a lovely young woman I spouted things that I had no right to say to anyone—certainly not to her—a loyal, sweet and gentle woman.

I became negative and hurtful to her.

BIG LESSON.

This is not an excuse—it is a reminder.  Even though I have been trying my best to be a better person, a more hopeful person, I failed miserably at it today.

How do I learn and grow from the experience?

The cost of this negativity is far too great—too much time is spent in hurt feelings and remorse.

I have asked for forgiveness and that’s really all I can do at this point.

So my plan tonight is this:  Let all judgments GO. NOW and focus on the larger, truly important issues in life.